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The Mum has the temper of a demon with a diaper rash. (Shamus)

Devon Monk

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Devon Monk
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: January 9
Novelist
Writer
Eugene
Oregon
Diaper
Rash
Diapers
Mum
Temper
Demon

More quotes by Devon Monk

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Night Owls is a fast, fun read that kept me turning the pages. Lauren M. Roy delivers a plot that zips, dialogue that zings, and a cast of characters you'll cheer for to the very end. Thumbs up!
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He was like an undead boomerang. A zomberang.
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... he trotted down the hallway on all fours and started in on his second favorite pastime, conversations with plumbing. Just what I needed: Stone, the Toilet Whisperer.
Devon Monk
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I think you’re possessed.” “Old news.” “Huh. Anyone I know?” “My dad. It’s a family issue I’m working on.
Devon Monk
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I don’t know what’s happened to you. You used to be such a nice girl. Now you’ve gone all stabby and whatnot.
Devon Monk
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Hey, rock dude, are you destroying the house? Causing mayhem? Who’s a ferocious gargoyle? Stoney’s a ferocious gargoyle.
Devon Monk
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…I noticed you don’t have any self-defense training…” “…I can handle myself just fine.” She stared at me for a long, uncomfortable moment. Finally, “In the very short time I’ve known you, you have been chased, shot, robbed, stabbed, drugged, and attacked by magic.” “I’m still breathing, aren’t I?
Devon Monk
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I don’t know how to explain it.” “Try words. If that doesn’t work, we’ll move on to interpretive dance.
Devon Monk
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I resisted the urge to pour mouthwash in my brain.
Devon Monk
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A corner of his mouth quirked up. “I play pool. Shoot hoops sometimes too. Any other sport you’re curious about?” “Hockey? Polo?” “Simultaneously. Trick is to keep the horses on their skates.
Devon Monk
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But it is clear to me that our survival—both yours and mine—will be dictated by how well you and I can work together.” “So we’re screwed?
Devon Monk
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And it's just a hunt? Bea asked. Just tracking the guy down, or are we going to have to do a little covering up of our own? Had she just told me she was willing to kill someone and cover it up? She gave me a happy smile, but that glint in her eyes told me that, yes, she'd just offered to off someone.
Devon Monk
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Since I didn't have a spork handy, I leaned over the sink and scooped up a palmful of cold water and pressed it against my face. There had to be a better option than a violent sporking. There had to be a way to get rid of my dad.
Devon Monk
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Trace of Magic caught me up fast and pulled me in tight for a fun, action-and-sass adventure full of deadly magic and dangerous romance. Diana Pharaoh Francis delivers a downright terrific read.
Devon Monk
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Then they both smiled the exact same smile. Narcissism times two. Oh, get a room already.
Devon Monk
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The price for using dark magic is death, so that goes a long way toward deterring users.
Devon Monk