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I'm sophisticated, charming, suave, and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilized.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Suave
Claimed
Professor
Professors
Charming
Sophisticated
Civilized
Never
Debonair

More quotes by Derek Landy

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That was a good day for me, Skulduggery said. I didn't have to hit anyone. I didn't have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.
Derek Landy
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Clarabelle laughed like she'd just heard the funniest thing ever. Of course you HOPE you won't die, Valkyrie! Who would HOPE to die? That's just SILLY! But you probably WILL die, that's what I'm saying. Don't you think so?
Derek Landy
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If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.
Derek Landy
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Are you hurt? Are you injured? / No, just a bruise or two. I'm fine, really. You don't have to worry about me. / Stephanie, you jumped off a building. / Yes, but the branches broke my fall. Every one of them. / And how were the branches? / A lot unlike pillows.
Derek Landy
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I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword.
Derek Landy
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By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?' 'You can call me whatever you like.' Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.
Derek Landy
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I could've died because you had to tie your shoelace?
Derek Landy
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Then I reckon we got ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff. ... Nobody moved, or said anything, for the next few moments. Old-fashioned standoffs are mighty borin
Derek Landy
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You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.' --Skulduggery
Derek Landy
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You're late,' he said. 'I'm beautiful.' 'You're always beautiful.' 'I'm always late too.
Derek Landy
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I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how ridiculous their beards.
Derek Landy
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The end is now the beginning.
Derek Landy
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Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead.” “Of course he’s dead. He’s a skeleton.
Derek Landy
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The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.
Derek Landy
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Sometimes it's not what you say, Valkyrie, it's just the fact that you're saying it.
Derek Landy
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Guild doesn't like me. That's true. He doesn't like you, ether. That is mystifying.
Derek Landy
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tanith: have you called the police? fergus: they, uh, they said theyd call by this afternoon. tanith: tell them not to bother... im his doctor. beryl: what kind of doctor dresses in brown leather? tanith: the kind that looks good init
Derek Landy
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This isn't funny. She was almost killed.' 'I'm aware. You're waiting to see if I will get angry.' 'I already know you're angry. You're sitting very still and you're talking very quietly. You're getting ready to kill someone.' 'I just need a name.
Derek Landy
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Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.
Derek Landy
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Oh, China. How I have missed you.' 'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.
Derek Landy