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I could've died because you had to tie your shoelace?
Derek Landy
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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Shoelaces
Ties
Died
More quotes by Derek Landy
Don't be jealous of my genius.
Derek Landy
They faced each other. 'I'm going to enjoy this,'Melancholia said. 'I daresay I'm not.
Derek Landy
The Torment turned his head to him, and frowned. Who are you? I'm... sorry? It's me, it's Vaurien. Vaurien Scapegrace. I... built the cellar for you? Oh, the Torment said. You. Why are you back? I thought you were dead. It would have been nice if you were dead
Derek Landy
You're late,' he said. 'I'm beautiful.' 'You're always beautiful.' 'I'm always late too.
Derek Landy
And then the Necromancers pulled out their sub-atomic machine guns.
Derek Landy
That's ridiculous. The only point in having enemies is so you can defeat them, kill them, brush them aside. Or give them a chance to redeem themselves.
Derek Landy
Then I reckon we got ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff. ... Nobody moved, or said anything, for the next few moments. Old-fashioned standoffs are mighty borin
Derek Landy
She wants to be polite and not hurt your feelings, so she's not going to laugh right now. But inside, inside she's laughing.
Derek Landy
Is he all scarred now? Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.
Derek Landy
I'm sorry,' said the shopkeeper. 'I can't understand your ridiculous accent.' 'My accent?' 'It is quite silly.' 'So you can't understand me?' 'Not a word.' 'Then how did you understand that?' 'I didn't.' ''You didn't understand what I just said?' 'That's right.' 'You understood that, though.' 'Not at all.' The American glowered.
Derek Landy
You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last present you gave me was a stick.” “You wanted a weapon.” “It was a stick.” “It had a bow on it.” “It was a stick.” “I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.
Derek Landy
tanith: have you called the police? fergus: they, uh, they said theyd call by this afternoon. tanith: tell them not to bother... im his doctor. beryl: what kind of doctor dresses in brown leather? tanith: the kind that looks good init
Derek Landy
He does this on purpose, Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause. He looks like he's about to sneeze, Stephanie remarked.
Derek Landy
He looked at her. “We’re meant to be together…” “And this is exactly what I mean.” “Our love is written in the stars.” “And there you go again.” “I love you.” “You bore me.
Derek Landy
But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.
Derek Landy
Just leave her alone. You're annoying her.' 'I'm not annoying her. She doesn't even know how to be annoyed. She's, what, a week old?' 'She's three months.' 'She's three months in our years, but what is she in baby years?
Derek Landy
We don’t need a cure,” the other zombie said. “That’s right,” Scapegrace nodded. “We’re happy the way we are.” “Happy with the power,” Scapegrace clarified. “Very happy, just the two of us, and there’s nothing wrong with us either. It’s very natural in fact. Nothing to be ashamed of—” “Thrasher,” said Scapegrace, “shut up.
Derek Landy
Have you killed anyone?” she asked quickly. “What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder into an art form?” “But you haven’t actually killed anyone yet, have you? I read your file.” He glowered. “Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t
Derek Landy
You accused me of murder. Do you make a habit of bringing schoolgirls into an interview room with murder suspects?' He waved his hand. 'Oh, I was only joking about that. I don't really think you murdered someone. Unless you did, in which case I reserve the right to say I knew it all along.
Derek Landy
Guild doesn't like me. That's true. He doesn't like you, ether. That is mystifying.
Derek Landy