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You've done what? I know, he said. You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Wells
Come
Impressed
Well
Literally
Done
Send
Even
Weird
Would
Bread
Boys
Back

More quotes by Derek Landy

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You look angry, he said. You put me on hold. For a very good reason. You put me, she said very, very slowly, on hold.
Derek Landy
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Emergency Valve Regulators, she repeated. So you do know what your doing? Not really, he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones.
Derek Landy
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They faced each other. 'I'm going to enjoy this,'Melancholia said. 'I daresay I'm not.
Derek Landy
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Is that it?” “No. That’s a wall.” “It could be disguised.” “You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?” “I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.
Derek Landy
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We don’t need a cure,” the other zombie said. “That’s right,” Scapegrace nodded. “We’re happy the way we are.” “Happy with the power,” Scapegrace clarified. “Very happy, just the two of us, and there’s nothing wrong with us either. It’s very natural in fact. Nothing to be ashamed of—” “Thrasher,” said Scapegrace, “shut up.
Derek Landy
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That was a good day for me, Skulduggery said. I didn't have to hit anyone. I didn't have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.
Derek Landy
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Stairs, Valkyrie said, disappointed. Not just ordinary stairs, Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. Magic stairs. Really? Oh, yes. She followed him into the darkness. How are they magic? They just are. In what way? In a magicky way. She glared at the back of his head. They aren't magic at all, are they?
Derek Landy
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Gordon Edgley's sudden death came as a shock to everyone - not least himself. One moment he was in his study, seven words into the twenty-fifth sentence of the final chapter of his new book, And the Darkness Rained upon Them, and the next he was dead. A tragic loss, his mind echoed numbly as he slipped away.
Derek Landy
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So he has no head' 'Thats usually what headless means' 'No head at all?' 'Your really not getting the whole headless thing are you?' 'Its just kind of silly even for us.
Derek Landy
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I cross the place where my heart used to be and hope to be even deader than I am now.
Derek Landy
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Other stories tell how I eat innocent newborns, how I’m ten feet tall, how I breathe fire and have great dragon wings. None of these are wholly accurate. I don’t have dragon wings, I don’t breathe fire, I’m only eight feet tall and I’ve never eaten a newborn that didn’t have it coming. My name is Mevolent. What’s yours?
Derek Landy
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I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how ridiculous their beards.
Derek Landy
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Are you sulking?” “Me? No. I don’t sulk.” “You sound like you’re sulking.” “I’m just waiting for the violent urges to subside.
Derek Landy
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You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Derek Landy
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I would love to have a battle of wits with you, Bison, but I doubt it would be a fair fight.' 'Shut your face.' 'Exactly my point.
Derek Landy
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This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is. Okay. Serpine raised an eyebrow. Really? No, only joking. Do your worst.
Derek Landy
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You've been reading Gordan's book again, haven't you? It's a white-knuckle roller-coaster ride, she mumbled.
Derek Landy
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I shall live forever. And I don't mean in a metaphorical sense. I don't mean I'll live forever in the hearts and minds of my readers. I mean I will literally live forever, drawing as I do from your pain and suffering.Your pain makes me strong.
Derek Landy
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Just leave her alone. You're annoying her.' 'I'm not annoying her. She doesn't even know how to be annoyed. She's, what, a week old?' 'She's three months.' 'She's three months in our years, but what is she in baby years?
Derek Landy
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I'm sophisticated, charming, suave, and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilized.
Derek Landy