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You've done what? I know, he said. You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Back
Wells
Come
Impressed
Well
Literally
Done
Send
Even
Weird
Would
Bread
Boys

More quotes by Derek Landy

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Tides do what tides do – they turn.
Derek Landy
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And then the Necromancers pulled out their sub-atomic machine guns.
Derek Landy
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Is he all scarred now? Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.
Derek Landy
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The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.
Derek Landy
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Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked, keeping her voice low. “The last time we were in this building, we accused the Grand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I think we’ll be waiting long.
Derek Landy
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Have you killed anyone?” she asked quickly. “What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder into an art form?” “But you haven’t actually killed anyone yet, have you? I read your file.” He glowered. “Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t
Derek Landy
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If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.
Derek Landy
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We don’t need a cure,” the other zombie said. “That’s right,” Scapegrace nodded. “We’re happy the way we are.” “Happy with the power,” Scapegrace clarified. “Very happy, just the two of us, and there’s nothing wrong with us either. It’s very natural in fact. Nothing to be ashamed of—” “Thrasher,” said Scapegrace, “shut up.
Derek Landy
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You look angry, he said. You put me on hold. For a very good reason. You put me, she said very, very slowly, on hold.
Derek Landy
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This isn't funny. She was almost killed.' 'I'm aware. You're waiting to see if I will get angry.' 'I already know you're angry. You're sitting very still and you're talking very quietly. You're getting ready to kill someone.' 'I just need a name.
Derek Landy
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Oh my god you're thicker than you look
Derek Landy
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Oh, China. How I have missed you.' 'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.
Derek Landy
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Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead.” “Of course he’s dead. He’s a skeleton.
Derek Landy
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Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.' And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.
Derek Landy
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It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your beard’s stupid.” “Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us getting along so well.
Derek Landy
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Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her father’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware when he thought no one was looking
Derek Landy
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I am a rational man, but haven't you heard? i'm also insane. It gives me a unique perspective on things.
Derek Landy
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I would love to have a battle of wits with you, Bison, but I doubt it would be a fair fight.' 'Shut your face.' 'Exactly my point.
Derek Landy
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By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?' 'You can call me whatever you like.' Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.
Derek Landy
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The calm before the storm
Derek Landy