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You've done what? I know, he said. You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Well
Literally
Done
Send
Even
Weird
Would
Bread
Boys
Back
Wells
Come
Impressed

More quotes by Derek Landy

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You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last present you gave me was a stick.” “You wanted a weapon.” “It was a stick.” “It had a bow on it.” “It was a stick.” “I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.
Derek Landy
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They faced each other. 'I'm going to enjoy this,'Melancholia said. 'I daresay I'm not.
Derek Landy
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The problem with living so long is that we get used to it. We watch the mortals age and wither and die around us, watch the world change and decay...but no matter the hardship or the pain or the sorrow we suffer, we choose to continue living. Out of sheer habit, I think.
Derek Landy
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Scapegrace leaped up. “I am the Killer Supreme! I make murder into an art form!” Skulduggery hit him again and Scapegrace did a little twirl before falling.
Derek Landy
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I am a rational man, but haven't you heard? i'm also insane. It gives me a unique perspective on things.
Derek Landy
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She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity. You're saying she's a mood swing? He shrugged. Or maybe you're her mood swing. Don't even joke about that.
Derek Landy
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People! she screamed. There are people here! New people!
Derek Landy
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The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven. Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil
Derek Landy
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What is it?' Stephanie whispered. 'That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.' She looked at Skulduggery. 'You don't know what it is, do you?' 'I told you what it is, it's a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us.
Derek Landy
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Are you kidding? I jumped off a building -- of course I'm hurt.
Derek Landy
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Are you taking my hat hostage?
Derek Landy
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The Torment turned his head to him, and frowned. Who are you? I'm... sorry? It's me, it's Vaurien. Vaurien Scapegrace. I... built the cellar for you? Oh, the Torment said. You. Why are you back? I thought you were dead. It would have been nice if you were dead
Derek Landy
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I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?” Skulduggery asked. “I don’t think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you.
Derek Landy
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Sometimes it's not what you say, Valkyrie, it's just the fact that you're saying it.
Derek Landy
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Well, to put it delicately, she has the power to suck out people's brains.
Derek Landy
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He does this on purpose, Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause. He looks like he's about to sneeze, Stephanie remarked.
Derek Landy
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You're late,' he said. 'I'm beautiful.' 'You're always beautiful.' 'I'm always late too.
Derek Landy
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We may need to focus here.' 'Right. Yes. OK. Turn around.' 'Are you going to throw something at me?' 'What? No, I'm getting out of bed.
Derek Landy
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We don’t need a cure,” the other zombie said. “That’s right,” Scapegrace nodded. “We’re happy the way we are.” “Happy with the power,” Scapegrace clarified. “Very happy, just the two of us, and there’s nothing wrong with us either. It’s very natural in fact. Nothing to be ashamed of—” “Thrasher,” said Scapegrace, “shut up.
Derek Landy
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You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Derek Landy