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I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Like
Bricks
Swear
Wall
Stupid
Looking
Talking
Really
Mildly
Good
Brick

More quotes by Derek Landy

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And then the Necromancers pulled out their sub-atomic machine guns.
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You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last present you gave me was a stick.” “You wanted a weapon.” “It was a stick.” “It had a bow on it.” “It was a stick.” “I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.
Derek Landy
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I cross the place where my heart used to be and hope to be even deader than I am now.
Derek Landy
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You have no idea the power generated each time somebody is told a story. When a conscious, sentient mind willingly ignores what is real, what is fact, and instead chooses to invest in people and places that never existed...It's magnificent.
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By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?' 'You can call me whatever you like.' Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.
Derek Landy
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Just leave her alone. You're annoying her.' 'I'm not annoying her. She doesn't even know how to be annoyed. She's, what, a week old?' 'She's three months.' 'She's three months in our years, but what is she in baby years?
Derek Landy
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You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.
Derek Landy
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Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her father’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware when he thought no one was looking
Derek Landy
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Other stories tell how I eat innocent newborns, how I’m ten feet tall, how I breathe fire and have great dragon wings. None of these are wholly accurate. I don’t have dragon wings, I don’t breathe fire, I’m only eight feet tall and I’ve never eaten a newborn that didn’t have it coming. My name is Mevolent. What’s yours?
Derek Landy
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I love you.' 'Yeah, well...' 'You make my heart want to beat.' 'That's nice and creepy. But I'm with Fletcher.(...) Also, these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of... it's a bit much to be honest. Just hold back a little.' 'But my love for you is eternal.' 'That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.
Derek Landy
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It would be fun,” Skulduggery nodded. ”I like kicking Wreath in the face. I haven't had a chance to do it nearly as much as I'd like.
Derek Landy
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Tides do what tides do – they turn.
Derek Landy
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Oh, China. How I have missed you.' 'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.
Derek Landy
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Valkyrie: “You are such a moron.” Skulduggery: “Don't be jealous of my genius.
Derek Landy
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You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.' --Skulduggery
Derek Landy
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You have an amazing ability to depress me sometimes, you know that? I try my best.
Derek Landy
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This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is. Okay. Serpine raised an eyebrow. Really? No, only joking. Do your worst.
Derek Landy
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There's a clock on the wall. Press your hand against the face and turn it very slightly to the. Left. There'll be a click to tell you it's done. Sounds easy enough. Yes it does, said Sanguine. Kiss for good luck? Maybe later, said Gracious. How about a handshake? Asked Donegan.
Derek Landy
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Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead.” “Of course he’s dead. He’s a skeleton.
Derek Landy
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Love is finding someone better than you are, and holding on for dear life
Derek Landy