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I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Looking
Talking
Really
Mildly
Good
Brick
Like
Bricks
Swear
Wall
Stupid

More quotes by Derek Landy

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I'm sophisticated, charming, suave, and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilized.
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You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.' --Skulduggery
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You have an amazing ability to depress me sometimes, you know that? I try my best.
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Found something?...No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh… more floor.
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The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.
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The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. Ryan, he said, stop leaning on my car.
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Is that it?” “No. That’s a wall.” “It could be disguised.” “You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?” “I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.
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Sometimes it's not what you say, Valkyrie, it's just the fact that you're saying it.
Derek Landy
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If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.
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Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked, keeping her voice low. “The last time we were in this building, we accused the Grand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I think we’ll be waiting long.
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A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?
Derek Landy
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I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.
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Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.' And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.
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She wants to be polite and not hurt your feelings, so she's not going to laugh right now. But inside, inside she's laughing.
Derek Landy
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Clarabelle laughed like she'd just heard the funniest thing ever. Of course you HOPE you won't die, Valkyrie! Who would HOPE to die? That's just SILLY! But you probably WILL die, that's what I'm saying. Don't you think so?
Derek Landy
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He does this on purpose, Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause. He looks like he's about to sneeze, Stephanie remarked.
Derek Landy
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Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.
Derek Landy
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What? she asked again. He pointed ahead of them. See that? What, the snow? Beyond that. More snow? Stop looking at the snow.
Derek Landy
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This isn't funny. She was almost killed.' 'I'm aware. You're waiting to see if I will get angry.' 'I already know you're angry. You're sitting very still and you're talking very quietly. You're getting ready to kill someone.' 'I just need a name.
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You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Derek Landy