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But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Retiring
Enjoying
Cake
Retirement
Sleep
Crossword
Enjoy
Crosswords
Every
Puzzles
Really
Retired

More quotes by Derek Landy

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There's a clock on the wall. Press your hand against the face and turn it very slightly to the. Left. There'll be a click to tell you it's done. Sounds easy enough. Yes it does, said Sanguine. Kiss for good luck? Maybe later, said Gracious. How about a handshake? Asked Donegan.
Derek Landy
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You've done what? I know, he said. You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.
Derek Landy
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This isn't funny. She was almost killed.' 'I'm aware. You're waiting to see if I will get angry.' 'I already know you're angry. You're sitting very still and you're talking very quietly. You're getting ready to kill someone.' 'I just need a name.
Derek Landy
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The Torment turned his head to him, and frowned. Who are you? I'm... sorry? It's me, it's Vaurien. Vaurien Scapegrace. I... built the cellar for you? Oh, the Torment said. You. Why are you back? I thought you were dead. It would have been nice if you were dead
Derek Landy
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Gordon Edgley's sudden death came as a shock to everyone - not least himself. One moment he was in his study, seven words into the twenty-fifth sentence of the final chapter of his new book, And the Darkness Rained upon Them, and the next he was dead. A tragic loss, his mind echoed numbly as he slipped away.
Derek Landy
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Tides do what tides do – they turn.
Derek Landy
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We don’t need a cure,” the other zombie said. “That’s right,” Scapegrace nodded. “We’re happy the way we are.” “Happy with the power,” Scapegrace clarified. “Very happy, just the two of us, and there’s nothing wrong with us either. It’s very natural in fact. Nothing to be ashamed of—” “Thrasher,” said Scapegrace, “shut up.
Derek Landy
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She’s not… She’s not datin’ the skeleton, is she? How would that be even possible, let alone… nice? He’s got no skin, or lips, or… or nothin’.
Derek Landy
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And then the Necromancers pulled out their sub-atomic machine guns.
Derek Landy
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Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.
Derek Landy
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This girl (Stephanie) is but a few months away from her seventeenth birthday and already she has saved the world and killed a god. What have you done?
Derek Landy
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You look angry, he said. You put me on hold. For a very good reason. You put me, she said very, very slowly, on hold.
Derek Landy
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I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.
Derek Landy
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He does this on purpose, Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause. He looks like he's about to sneeze, Stephanie remarked.
Derek Landy
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Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked, keeping her voice low. “The last time we were in this building, we accused the Grand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I think we’ll be waiting long.
Derek Landy
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The end is now the beginning.
Derek Landy
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If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.
Derek Landy
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That's a shame. I'm sure somebody, somewhere, cares.
Derek Landy
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You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Derek Landy
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Are you sulking?” “Me? No. I don’t sulk.” “You sound like you’re sulking.” “I’m just waiting for the violent urges to subside.
Derek Landy