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But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Really
Retired
Retiring
Enjoying
Cake
Retirement
Sleep
Crossword
Enjoy
Crosswords
Every
Puzzles

More quotes by Derek Landy

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Scapegrace leaped up. “I am the Killer Supreme! I make murder into an art form!” Skulduggery hit him again and Scapegrace did a little twirl before falling.
Derek Landy
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She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity. You're saying she's a mood swing? He shrugged. Or maybe you're her mood swing. Don't even joke about that.
Derek Landy
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Love is finding someone better than you are, and holding on for dear life
Derek Landy
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So he has no head' 'Thats usually what headless means' 'No head at all?' 'Your really not getting the whole headless thing are you?' 'Its just kind of silly even for us.
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Are you hurt? Are you injured? / No, just a bruise or two. I'm fine, really. You don't have to worry about me. / Stephanie, you jumped off a building. / Yes, but the branches broke my fall. Every one of them. / And how were the branches? / A lot unlike pillows.
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You've been reading Gordan's book again, haven't you? It's a white-knuckle roller-coaster ride, she mumbled.
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I cross the place where my heart used to be and hope to be even deader than I am now.
Derek Landy
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You've done what? I know, he said. You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.
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I shall live forever. And I don't mean in a metaphorical sense. I don't mean I'll live forever in the hearts and minds of my readers. I mean I will literally live forever, drawing as I do from your pain and suffering.Your pain makes me strong.
Derek Landy
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You're late,' he said. 'I'm beautiful.' 'You're always beautiful.' 'I'm always late too.
Derek Landy
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He does this on purpose, Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause. He looks like he's about to sneeze, Stephanie remarked.
Derek Landy
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A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?
Derek Landy
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Suddenly Saracen Rue looked old and tired, and Skulduggery Pleasant came into focus as what he really was – a genius, a killer, a tortured soul, and the only true dead man among them.
Derek Landy
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Don't be jealous of my genius.
Derek Landy
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I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.
Derek Landy
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You say one more thing that sounds like it's ripped from the pages of a really bad gothic romance and I'm out of here, are we clear? - Valkyrie Cain
Derek Landy
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Have you killed anyone?” she asked quickly. “What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder into an art form?” “But you haven’t actually killed anyone yet, have you? I read your file.” He glowered. “Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t
Derek Landy
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Annis had never been a people person, unless ‘people person’ was defined as a person who ate people.
Derek Landy
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Is he all scarred now? Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.
Derek Landy
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tanith: have you called the police? fergus: they, uh, they said theyd call by this afternoon. tanith: tell them not to bother... im his doctor. beryl: what kind of doctor dresses in brown leather? tanith: the kind that looks good init
Derek Landy