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But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Retirement
Sleep
Crossword
Enjoy
Crosswords
Every
Puzzles
Really
Retired
Retiring
Enjoying
Cake

More quotes by Derek Landy

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Oh, China. How I have missed you.' 'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.
Derek Landy
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Love is finding someone better than you are, and holding on for dear life
Derek Landy
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Enjoy that?' Tanith said with a little grin. Valkryie grinned back, her eyes bright. 'I keep telling Skulduggery he should get a bike.' What does he say?' He says people who wear leathers, like you, should ride motorbikes. People who wear exquisite suits, like him, should drive Bentleys.
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Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked, keeping her voice low. “The last time we were in this building, we accused the Grand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I think we’ll be waiting long.
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Right, well, we've got to work out what we need. We've got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need.
Derek Landy
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Desmond, don't poke the baby!'... 'I'll get you next time-' Don't threaten the baby either!'.
Derek Landy
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tanith: have you called the police? fergus: they, uh, they said theyd call by this afternoon. tanith: tell them not to bother... im his doctor. beryl: what kind of doctor dresses in brown leather? tanith: the kind that looks good init
Derek Landy
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Clarabelle laughed like she'd just heard the funniest thing ever. Of course you HOPE you won't die, Valkyrie! Who would HOPE to die? That's just SILLY! But you probably WILL die, that's what I'm saying. Don't you think so?
Derek Landy
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That was a good day for me, Skulduggery said. I didn't have to hit anyone. I didn't have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.
Derek Landy
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I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.
Derek Landy
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Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.
Derek Landy
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We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant
Derek Landy
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You say one more thing that sounds like it's ripped from the pages of a really bad gothic romance and I'm out of here, are we clear? - Valkyrie Cain
Derek Landy
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Just leave her alone. You're annoying her.' 'I'm not annoying her. She doesn't even know how to be annoyed. She's, what, a week old?' 'She's three months.' 'She's three months in our years, but what is she in baby years?
Derek Landy
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Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead.” “Of course he’s dead. He’s a skeleton.
Derek Landy
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You make a good point,' Fletcher conceded. 'See, there's a reason why you're the girl and I'm the boy. You think about things while I...' 'Don't?' 'Exactly,' he said happily.
Derek Landy
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She’s not… She’s not datin’ the skeleton, is she? How would that be even possible, let alone… nice? He’s got no skin, or lips, or… or nothin’.
Derek Landy
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I could've died because you had to tie your shoelace?
Derek Landy
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This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is. Okay. Serpine raised an eyebrow. Really? No, only joking. Do your worst.
Derek Landy
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I'm sophisticated, charming, suave, and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilized.
Derek Landy