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I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Commit
Murder
Littering
Placing
Arrest
Conspiracy
Possibly
Pleasant

More quotes by Derek Landy

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I'm fairly certain. I could be some ghastly hallucination, a figment of my own imagination
Derek Landy
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I could've died because you had to tie your shoelace?
Derek Landy
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Emergency Valve Regulators, she repeated. So you do know what your doing? Not really, he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones.
Derek Landy
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I would love to have a battle of wits with you, Bison, but I doubt it would be a fair fight.' 'Shut your face.' 'Exactly my point.
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We may need to focus here.' 'Right. Yes. OK. Turn around.' 'Are you going to throw something at me?' 'What? No, I'm getting out of bed.
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A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?
Derek Landy
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Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.' And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.
Derek Landy
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I am a rational man, but haven't you heard? i'm also insane. It gives me a unique perspective on things.
Derek Landy
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Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.
Derek Landy
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I'm sorry,' said the shopkeeper. 'I can't understand your ridiculous accent.' 'My accent?' 'It is quite silly.' 'So you can't understand me?' 'Not a word.' 'Then how did you understand that?' 'I didn't.' ''You didn't understand what I just said?' 'That's right.' 'You understood that, though.' 'Not at all.' The American glowered.
Derek Landy
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I know how easy it is to be swept away by stories, by things you wish were real.
Derek Landy
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It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your beard’s stupid.” “Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us getting along so well.
Derek Landy
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She wants to be polite and not hurt your feelings, so she's not going to laugh right now. But inside, inside she's laughing.
Derek Landy
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The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. Ryan, he said, stop leaning on my car.
Derek Landy
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It would be fun,” Skulduggery nodded. ”I like kicking Wreath in the face. I haven't had a chance to do it nearly as much as I'd like.
Derek Landy
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We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant
Derek Landy
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Life isn't fair,' Skulduggery said. 'In my experience, death isn't so different.
Derek Landy
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Is that it?” “No. That’s a wall.” “It could be disguised.” “You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?” “I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.
Derek Landy
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Enjoy that?' Tanith said with a little grin. Valkryie grinned back, her eyes bright. 'I keep telling Skulduggery he should get a bike.' What does he say?' He says people who wear leathers, like you, should ride motorbikes. People who wear exquisite suits, like him, should drive Bentleys.
Derek Landy
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Other stories tell how I eat innocent newborns, how I’m ten feet tall, how I breathe fire and have great dragon wings. None of these are wholly accurate. I don’t have dragon wings, I don’t breathe fire, I’m only eight feet tall and I’ve never eaten a newborn that didn’t have it coming. My name is Mevolent. What’s yours?
Derek Landy