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Are you taking my hat hostage?

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 49
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Hostage
Hats
Taking

More quotes by Derek Landy

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We may need to focus here.' 'Right. Yes. OK. Turn around.' 'Are you going to throw something at me?' 'What? No, I'm getting out of bed.
Derek Landy
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That's a shame. I'm sure somebody, somewhere, cares.
Derek Landy
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Stairs, Valkyrie said, disappointed. Not just ordinary stairs, Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. Magic stairs. Really? Oh, yes. She followed him into the darkness. How are they magic? They just are. In what way? In a magicky way. She glared at the back of his head. They aren't magic at all, are they?
Derek Landy
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I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.
Derek Landy
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I'm fairly certain. I could be some ghastly hallucination, a figment of my own imagination
Derek Landy
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You accused me of murder. Do you make a habit of bringing schoolgirls into an interview room with murder suspects?' He waved his hand. 'Oh, I was only joking about that. I don't really think you murdered someone. Unless you did, in which case I reserve the right to say I knew it all along.
Derek Landy
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The Torment turned his head to him, and frowned. Who are you? I'm... sorry? It's me, it's Vaurien. Vaurien Scapegrace. I... built the cellar for you? Oh, the Torment said. You. Why are you back? I thought you were dead. It would have been nice if you were dead
Derek Landy
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The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. Ryan, he said, stop leaning on my car.
Derek Landy
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We don’t need a cure,” the other zombie said. “That’s right,” Scapegrace nodded. “We’re happy the way we are.” “Happy with the power,” Scapegrace clarified. “Very happy, just the two of us, and there’s nothing wrong with us either. It’s very natural in fact. Nothing to be ashamed of—” “Thrasher,” said Scapegrace, “shut up.
Derek Landy
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She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity. You're saying she's a mood swing? He shrugged. Or maybe you're her mood swing. Don't even joke about that.
Derek Landy
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There's a clock on the wall. Press your hand against the face and turn it very slightly to the. Left. There'll be a click to tell you it's done. Sounds easy enough. Yes it does, said Sanguine. Kiss for good luck? Maybe later, said Gracious. How about a handshake? Asked Donegan.
Derek Landy
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I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.
Derek Landy
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You make a good point,' Fletcher conceded. 'See, there's a reason why you're the girl and I'm the boy. You think about things while I...' 'Don't?' 'Exactly,' he said happily.
Derek Landy
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I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?” Skulduggery asked. “I don’t think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you.
Derek Landy
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She wants to be polite and not hurt your feelings, so she's not going to laugh right now. But inside, inside she's laughing.
Derek Landy
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Emergency Valve Regulators, she repeated. So you do know what your doing? Not really, he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones.
Derek Landy
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The end is now the beginning.
Derek Landy
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Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her father’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware when he thought no one was looking
Derek Landy
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But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.
Derek Landy
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They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. They've obviously never met me.
Derek Landy