Quote

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. They've obviously never met me.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Wit
Obviously
Mets
China
Form
Valkyrie
Never
Glanced
Sarcasm
Lowest

More quotes by Derek Landy

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She’s not… She’s not datin’ the skeleton, is she? How would that be even possible, let alone… nice? He’s got no skin, or lips, or… or nothin’.
Derek Landy
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That's ridiculous. The only point in having enemies is so you can defeat them, kill them, brush them aside. Or give them a chance to redeem themselves.
Derek Landy
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I love you.' 'Yeah, well...' 'You make my heart want to beat.' 'That's nice and creepy. But I'm with Fletcher.(...) Also, these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of... it's a bit much to be honest. Just hold back a little.' 'But my love for you is eternal.' 'That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.
Derek Landy
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Are you taking my hat hostage?
Derek Landy
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Gordon Edgley's sudden death came as a shock to everyone - not least himself. One moment he was in his study, seven words into the twenty-fifth sentence of the final chapter of his new book, And the Darkness Rained upon Them, and the next he was dead. A tragic loss, his mind echoed numbly as he slipped away.
Derek Landy
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I know how easy it is to be swept away by stories, by things you wish were real.
Derek Landy
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I have sought you out to cure me.' 'To cure you of what?' 'Of this cursed affliction.' 'I cannot cure stupidity.' Scapegrace frowned.
Derek Landy
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Oh, China. How I have missed you.' 'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.
Derek Landy
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I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.
Derek Landy
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Oh my god you're thicker than you look
Derek Landy
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Scapegrace leaped up. “I am the Killer Supreme! I make murder into an art form!” Skulduggery hit him again and Scapegrace did a little twirl before falling.
Derek Landy
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Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her father’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware when he thought no one was looking
Derek Landy
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The end is now the beginning.
Derek Landy
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tanith: have you called the police? fergus: they, uh, they said theyd call by this afternoon. tanith: tell them not to bother... im his doctor. beryl: what kind of doctor dresses in brown leather? tanith: the kind that looks good init
Derek Landy
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But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.
Derek Landy
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I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?” Skulduggery asked. “I don’t think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you.
Derek Landy
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I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how ridiculous their beards.
Derek Landy
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By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?' 'You can call me whatever you like.' Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.
Derek Landy
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They faced each other. 'I'm going to enjoy this,'Melancholia said. 'I daresay I'm not.
Derek Landy
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A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?
Derek Landy