Quote

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. They've obviously never met me.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Lowest
Wit
Obviously
Mets
China
Form
Valkyrie
Never
Glanced
Sarcasm

More quotes by Derek Landy

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Well, to put it delicately, she has the power to suck out people's brains.
Derek Landy
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I know how easy it is to be swept away by stories, by things you wish were real.
Derek Landy
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He does this on purpose, Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause. He looks like he's about to sneeze, Stephanie remarked.
Derek Landy
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A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?
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Are you hurt? Are you injured? / No, just a bruise or two. I'm fine, really. You don't have to worry about me. / Stephanie, you jumped off a building. / Yes, but the branches broke my fall. Every one of them. / And how were the branches? / A lot unlike pillows.
Derek Landy
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This isn't funny. She was almost killed.' 'I'm aware. You're waiting to see if I will get angry.' 'I already know you're angry. You're sitting very still and you're talking very quietly. You're getting ready to kill someone.' 'I just need a name.
Derek Landy
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Then I reckon we got ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff. ... Nobody moved, or said anything, for the next few moments. Old-fashioned standoffs are mighty borin
Derek Landy
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I would love to have a battle of wits with you, Bison, but I doubt it would be a fair fight.' 'Shut your face.' 'Exactly my point.
Derek Landy
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It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your beard’s stupid.” “Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us getting along so well.
Derek Landy
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The problem with living so long is that we get used to it. We watch the mortals age and wither and die around us, watch the world change and decay...but no matter the hardship or the pain or the sorrow we suffer, we choose to continue living. Out of sheer habit, I think.
Derek Landy
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Stairs, Valkyrie said, disappointed. Not just ordinary stairs, Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. Magic stairs. Really? Oh, yes. She followed him into the darkness. How are they magic? They just are. In what way? In a magicky way. She glared at the back of his head. They aren't magic at all, are they?
Derek Landy
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I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?” Skulduggery asked. “I don’t think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you.
Derek Landy
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Other stories tell how I eat innocent newborns, how I’m ten feet tall, how I breathe fire and have great dragon wings. None of these are wholly accurate. I don’t have dragon wings, I don’t breathe fire, I’m only eight feet tall and I’ve never eaten a newborn that didn’t have it coming. My name is Mevolent. What’s yours?
Derek Landy
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The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven. Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil
Derek Landy
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I could've died because you had to tie your shoelace?
Derek Landy
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Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead.” “Of course he’s dead. He’s a skeleton.
Derek Landy
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I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how ridiculous their beards.
Derek Landy
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You make a good point,' Fletcher conceded. 'See, there's a reason why you're the girl and I'm the boy. You think about things while I...' 'Don't?' 'Exactly,' he said happily.
Derek Landy
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Enjoy that?' Tanith said with a little grin. Valkryie grinned back, her eyes bright. 'I keep telling Skulduggery he should get a bike.' What does he say?' He says people who wear leathers, like you, should ride motorbikes. People who wear exquisite suits, like him, should drive Bentleys.
Derek Landy
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But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.
Derek Landy