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They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. They've obviously never met me.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Sarcasm
Lowest
Wit
Obviously
Mets
China
Form
Valkyrie
Never
Glanced

More quotes by Derek Landy

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This isn't funny. She was almost killed.' 'I'm aware. You're waiting to see if I will get angry.' 'I already know you're angry. You're sitting very still and you're talking very quietly. You're getting ready to kill someone.' 'I just need a name.
Derek Landy
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Suddenly Saracen Rue looked old and tired, and Skulduggery Pleasant came into focus as what he really was – a genius, a killer, a tortured soul, and the only true dead man among them.
Derek Landy
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She’s not… She’s not datin’ the skeleton, is she? How would that be even possible, let alone… nice? He’s got no skin, or lips, or… or nothin’.
Derek Landy
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Just leave her alone. You're annoying her.' 'I'm not annoying her. She doesn't even know how to be annoyed. She's, what, a week old?' 'She's three months.' 'She's three months in our years, but what is she in baby years?
Derek Landy
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He does this on purpose, Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause. He looks like he's about to sneeze, Stephanie remarked.
Derek Landy
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This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is. Okay. Serpine raised an eyebrow. Really? No, only joking. Do your worst.
Derek Landy
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Is he all scarred now? Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.
Derek Landy
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Oh, China. How I have missed you.' 'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.
Derek Landy
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Tides do what tides do – they turn.
Derek Landy
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Right, well, we've got to work out what we need. We've got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need.
Derek Landy
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We're here on Sanctuary business, Skulduggery tried. The man on Deadfall's right bristled, and Deadfall grinned. Hear that, Pete? They're with that Sanctuary. Hokum Pete snarled. I hate the Sanctuary. Oh, Skulduggery said. We all hate the Sanctuary. Ah. Then we're not here on Sanctuary business. I was just joking.
Derek Landy
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You have no idea the power generated each time somebody is told a story. When a conscious, sentient mind willingly ignores what is real, what is fact, and instead chooses to invest in people and places that never existed...It's magnificent.
Derek Landy
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Emergency Valve Regulators, she repeated. So you do know what your doing? Not really, he said yanking another wire. 'I made up that term to keep you happy. I'm just pulling all the red wires because they're the pretty ones.
Derek Landy
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You say one more thing that sounds like it's ripped from the pages of a really bad gothic romance and I'm out of here, are we clear? - Valkyrie Cain
Derek Landy
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She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity. You're saying she's a mood swing? He shrugged. Or maybe you're her mood swing. Don't even joke about that.
Derek Landy
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I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.
Derek Landy
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Clarabelle laughed like she'd just heard the funniest thing ever. Of course you HOPE you won't die, Valkyrie! Who would HOPE to die? That's just SILLY! But you probably WILL die, that's what I'm saying. Don't you think so?
Derek Landy
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You make a good point,' Fletcher conceded. 'See, there's a reason why you're the girl and I'm the boy. You think about things while I...' 'Don't?' 'Exactly,' he said happily.
Derek Landy
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Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.
Derek Landy
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The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven. Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil
Derek Landy