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Are you kidding? I jumped off a building -- of course I'm hurt.

Derek Landy

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Derek Landy
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: October 23
Author
Screenwriter
Writer
Kidding
Jumped
Building
Hurt
Courses
Course

More quotes by Derek Landy

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That's ridiculous. The only point in having enemies is so you can defeat them, kill them, brush them aside. Or give them a chance to redeem themselves.
Derek Landy
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Desmond, don't poke the baby!'... 'I'll get you next time-' Don't threaten the baby either!'.
Derek Landy
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Vengeous scowled. 'As you can see,' he said, 'you are vastly outnumbered.' I usually am.' Your situation has become quite untenable.' It usually does.' You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.' Skulduggery paused. 'Okay, that's a new one on me.
Derek Landy
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It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your beard’s stupid.” “Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us getting along so well.
Derek Landy
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Other stories tell how I eat innocent newborns, how I’m ten feet tall, how I breathe fire and have great dragon wings. None of these are wholly accurate. I don’t have dragon wings, I don’t breathe fire, I’m only eight feet tall and I’ve never eaten a newborn that didn’t have it coming. My name is Mevolent. What’s yours?
Derek Landy
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Suddenly Saracen Rue looked old and tired, and Skulduggery Pleasant came into focus as what he really was – a genius, a killer, a tortured soul, and the only true dead man among them.
Derek Landy
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What? she asked again. He pointed ahead of them. See that? What, the snow? Beyond that. More snow? Stop looking at the snow.
Derek Landy
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Then I reckon we got ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff. ... Nobody moved, or said anything, for the next few moments. Old-fashioned standoffs are mighty borin
Derek Landy
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Oh, China. How I have missed you.' 'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.
Derek Landy
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I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.
Derek Landy
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Oh my god you're thicker than you look
Derek Landy
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He looked at her. “We’re meant to be together…” “And this is exactly what I mean.” “Our love is written in the stars.” “And there you go again.” “I love you.” “You bore me.
Derek Landy
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The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.
Derek Landy
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We didn't die,' she said. Of course not. I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty.' I am pretty,' Valkryie said, managing a grin.
Derek Landy
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Right, well, we've got to work out what we need. We've got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need.
Derek Landy
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You have no idea the power generated each time somebody is told a story. When a conscious, sentient mind willingly ignores what is real, what is fact, and instead chooses to invest in people and places that never existed...It's magnificent.
Derek Landy
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You’re seventeen. You’re supposed to be dealing with school and hormones and dim-witted parents. You’re supposed to be finding out who you are as a person.” “But I already know who I am,” Valkyrie said. “I’m a world-breaker.
Derek Landy
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But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.
Derek Landy
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She wants to be polite and not hurt your feelings, so she's not going to laugh right now. But inside, inside she's laughing.
Derek Landy
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Are you taking my hat hostage?
Derek Landy