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Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 70
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Crop
Crops
Ads
Hey
Target
Circles
More quotes by Dennis Miller
It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.
Dennis Miller
That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?
Dennis Miller
Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
Dennis Miller
I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.
Dennis Miller
Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
Dennis Miller
That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
Dennis Miller
I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
Dennis Miller
I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
Dennis Miller
Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
Dennis Miller
Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
Dennis Miller
That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
Dennis Miller
Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
Dennis Miller
How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
Dennis Miller
If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
Dennis Miller
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
Dennis Miller
Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.
Dennis Miller
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
Dennis Miller
Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
Dennis Miller
Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.
Dennis Miller
The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
Dennis Miller