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Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Everybody
Coin
Best
Coins
People
Realm
Crap
Realms
Leaders
Leader
Superstars
Full
Superstar

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If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.
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A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
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The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
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Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
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How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
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Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
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You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
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Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
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Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.
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I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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I'd rather be funny than wise.
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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
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Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
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I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
Dennis Miller