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Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Everybody
Coin
Best
Coins
People
Realm
Crap
Realms
Leaders
Leader
Superstars
Full
Superstar

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Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.
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Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
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And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.
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Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.
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Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
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The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.
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It's wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.
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Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
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Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.
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The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
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The man who accused Richard Simmons of slapping him in an airport has dropped the assault charge. Dropped it! Upon hearing the news, Simmons sadly responded, You mean I'm not going to prison?
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Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw this guy. ... [He's a] bad guy.
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
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That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
Dennis Miller
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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
Dennis Miller
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If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.
Dennis Miller
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TV evangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination, but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and twenties.
Dennis Miller
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
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That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
Dennis Miller