Quote

I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.

Dennis Miller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Love
Version
Think
Legal
Thinking
Cover
Versions
Worse
Dion
System
Lotta
American
Celine
Whole
Sucks

More quotes by Dennis Miller

Image
I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
Dennis Miller
Image
My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
Dennis Miller
Image
Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.
Dennis Miller
Image
Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
Dennis Miller
Image
Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
Image
That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
Dennis Miller
Image
We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.
Dennis Miller
Image
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
Dennis Miller
Image
To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
Dennis Miller
Image
I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
Dennis Miller
Image
The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done.
Dennis Miller
Image
Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
Dennis Miller
Image
There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.
Dennis Miller
Image
Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
Dennis Miller
Image
A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
Dennis Miller
Image
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.
Dennis Miller
Image
Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
Dennis Miller
Image
That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?
Dennis Miller
Image
I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.
Dennis Miller
Image
The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.
Dennis Miller