Quote

I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.

Dennis Miller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Habit
Remorse
Still
Asked
Attend
Heirlooms
Feel
Leave
Estate
Pangs
Feels
Week
Estates
Bids
Make
Since
Teenager
Auctions
Ball
Prized
Times
Balls
Insidious
Three
Lows
Insulting
Stills

More quotes by Dennis Miller

Image
What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
Image
And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
Dennis Miller
Image
I'd rather be funny than wise.
Dennis Miller
Image
We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep.
Dennis Miller
Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
Dennis Miller
Image
I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
Dennis Miller
Image
That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
Dennis Miller
Image
The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
Dennis Miller
Image
There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.
Dennis Miller
Image
The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
Dennis Miller
Image
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
Image
Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.
Dennis Miller
Image
That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
Dennis Miller
Image
Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
Dennis Miller
Image
We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.
Dennis Miller
Image
Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
Dennis Miller
Image
Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
Dennis Miller
Image
Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.
Dennis Miller
Image
With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.
Dennis Miller
Image
That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?
Dennis Miller