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The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Saws
Away
Around
Government
Lawns
Take
Spin
Would
Fell
World
Drugs
People
Drug

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Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
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Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal wall weakens and cannot provide adequate support to the urethra, thus causing leaking. The good news is that women with SUI have many different treatment options available to them.
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Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
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If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
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Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
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I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
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I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
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A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
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The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
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