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The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Government
Lawns
Take
Spin
Would
Fell
World
Drugs
People
Drug
Saws
Away
Around

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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
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I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.
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There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.
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Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
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A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
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That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
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My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
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Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.
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Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
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Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.
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Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
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I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.
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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
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Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.
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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
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I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what he says. And there are times I think, Oh, my God. How could he say that.
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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
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Other than the bombs they strap to their chests, Ive got no idea what makes the Palestinians tick.
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A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'
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