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Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Easiest
Screws
Parenting
Jobs
Screw

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
Dennis Miller
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Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.
Dennis Miller
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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
Dennis Miller
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
Dennis Miller
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A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
Dennis Miller
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It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.
Dennis Miller
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
Dennis Miller
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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
Dennis Miller
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I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and I often do it in a loud falsetto while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and a coin changer.
Dennis Miller
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The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done.
Dennis Miller
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We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.
Dennis Miller
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller
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I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
Dennis Miller
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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
Dennis Miller
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Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
Dennis Miller
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
Dennis Miller
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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
Dennis Miller
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Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.
Dennis Miller
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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
Dennis Miller
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The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.
Dennis Miller