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If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
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Bigs
Children
Tits
Men
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More quotes by Dennis Miller

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Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
Dennis Miller
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I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
Dennis Miller
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It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.
Dennis Miller
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I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
Dennis Miller
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Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
Dennis Miller
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Other than the bombs they strap to their chests, Ive got no idea what makes the Palestinians tick.
Dennis Miller
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
Dennis Miller
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When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.
Dennis Miller
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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
Dennis Miller
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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
Dennis Miller
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
Dennis Miller
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It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
Dennis Miller
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller
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It's wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.
Dennis Miller
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I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
Dennis Miller
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That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
Dennis Miller
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Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.
Dennis Miller
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Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
Dennis Miller
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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
Dennis Miller
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If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
Dennis Miller