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If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Tight
Shirt
Shirts
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Okay
Bigs
Children
Tits
Men
Confuses
More quotes by Dennis Miller
The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
Dennis Miller
Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?
Dennis Miller
The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.
Dennis Miller
So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim.
Dennis Miller
Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
Dennis Miller
There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.
Dennis Miller
There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.
Dennis Miller
How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
Dennis Miller
Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
Dennis Miller
Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
Dennis Miller
Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
Dennis Miller
Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.
Dennis Miller
We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.
Dennis Miller
If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
Dennis Miller
Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'
Dennis Miller
Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
Dennis Miller
Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
Dennis Miller
Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
Dennis Miller
