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Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Mexican
Sign
Sake
Anything
Book
Way
People
Sakes
Gust

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
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Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
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The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.
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The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
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With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.
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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
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Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
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Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.
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Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.
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My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
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Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.
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South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their clothes with? Apar-Tide!
Dennis Miller
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The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.
Dennis Miller
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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
Dennis Miller
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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
Dennis Miller
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller