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I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 70
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Give
Giving
Think
Clueless
Thinking
Rats
Helpless
Ass
Help
Helping

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.
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Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.
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The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
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It's wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.
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The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done.
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Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer.
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Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
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Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?
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When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
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I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.
Dennis Miller
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
Dennis Miller
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That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?
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I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
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The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.
Dennis Miller