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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Giant
Finger
Poking
Giants
Blindfolded
Fingers
Auto
Around
Foam
Best
Psychiatrist
Even
Hood
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Mechanic

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.
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I'd rather be funny than wise.
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
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Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal wall weakens and cannot provide adequate support to the urethra, thus causing leaking. The good news is that women with SUI have many different treatment options available to them.
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If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
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I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.
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I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless.
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South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their clothes with? Apar-Tide!
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I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
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Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
Dennis Miller
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
Dennis Miller
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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
Dennis Miller
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
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There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.
Dennis Miller
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I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.
Dennis Miller
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The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.
Dennis Miller
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That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
Dennis Miller
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Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
Dennis Miller
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Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
Dennis Miller
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller