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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 70
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Parts
Paper
Equal
American
Water
Self
Towel
Made
Towels
Absorbed

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At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school years that it was a safe, nice, warm, fair, feeling place... but it can get brutal when it gets competitive. Especially when you succeed. Watch the detractors come out of the walls at that point.
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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
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Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
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The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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The Patriots deflated balls are but an allegory for America's deflated balls in dealings with Putin, the Mullahs in Iran, and Islamic terrorists.
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President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.
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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
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You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
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If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.
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If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
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Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
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