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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
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People
Plain
Nuts

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
Dennis Miller
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller
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The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.
Dennis Miller
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
Dennis Miller
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Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.
Dennis Miller
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The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
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I'd rather be funny than wise.
Dennis Miller
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Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.
Dennis Miller
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
Dennis Miller
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So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim.
Dennis Miller
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Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.
Dennis Miller
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Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
Dennis Miller
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Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?
Dennis Miller
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I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless.
Dennis Miller
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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
Dennis Miller
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The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
Dennis Miller
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
Dennis Miller
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Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
Dennis Miller
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Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.
Dennis Miller
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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
Dennis Miller