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Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
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Course
Pain
Feel
Feels
Always
Liberals
Caused
Unless

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It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.
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In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that 'if I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.
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Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
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South African schoolchildren set a world record this week by creating the world's longest clothesline. Hey, what do South Africans wash their clothes with? Apar-Tide!
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Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
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Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
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Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the reality is that it can dramatically change a woman's body. SUI occurs when the vaginal wall weakens and cannot provide adequate support to the urethra, thus causing leaking. The good news is that women with SUI have many different treatment options available to them.
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It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
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When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
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