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Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Guy
Gates
Funny
Bill
Away
Cat
Bills
Guys
Monocles
Computer
Persian
Humor
Bond
Movie
James
More quotes by Dennis Miller
A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
Dennis Miller
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
Dennis Miller
There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.
Dennis Miller
The man who accused Richard Simmons of slapping him in an airport has dropped the assault charge. Dropped it! Upon hearing the news, Simmons sadly responded, You mean I'm not going to prison?
Dennis Miller
You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
Dennis Miller
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
Dennis Miller
I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
Dennis Miller
Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
Dennis Miller
Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
Dennis Miller
Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.
Dennis Miller
To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
Dennis Miller
I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
Dennis Miller
It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.
Dennis Miller
Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.
Dennis Miller
If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
Dennis Miller
If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.
Dennis Miller
Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller
