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When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Ladies
Officers
Stupidity
God
Courses
Goat
Course
Goats
Four
Officer
Young
Referring

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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
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Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
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And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.
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There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.
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Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
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I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.
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It's wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.
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That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
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I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
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Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
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They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.
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Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
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It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.
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That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?
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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
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Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
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It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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