Quote

Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.

Dennis Miller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Branson
Missouri
Vegas
Teeth
People

More quotes by Dennis Miller

Image
Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
Dennis Miller
Image
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
Dennis Miller
Image
Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller
Image
Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
Dennis Miller
Image
Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
Image
The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
Dennis Miller
Image
When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.
Dennis Miller
Image
I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.
Dennis Miller
Image
The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
Dennis Miller
Image
Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
Image
Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
Dennis Miller
Image
The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done.
Dennis Miller
Image
Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
Dennis Miller
Image
For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
Dennis Miller
Image
Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
Dennis Miller
Image
I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.
Dennis Miller
Image
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
Dennis Miller
Image
You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
Dennis Miller
Image
Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
Dennis Miller
Image
I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
Dennis Miller