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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
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Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
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More quotes by Dennis Miller
The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.
Dennis Miller
And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.
Dennis Miller
The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
Dennis Miller
That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
Dennis Miller
TV evangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination, but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and twenties.
Dennis Miller
Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller
The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.
Dennis Miller
Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.
Dennis Miller
Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
Dennis Miller
America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
Dennis Miller
Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
Dennis Miller
President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.
Dennis Miller
You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
Dennis Miller
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.
Dennis Miller
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
Dennis Miller
I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and I often do it in a loud falsetto while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and a coin changer.
Dennis Miller
Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'
Dennis Miller
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
Dennis Miller