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I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 70
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
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Pittsburg
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Dennis Michael Miller
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More quotes by Dennis Miller
That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
Dennis Miller
I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
Dennis Miller
Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'
Dennis Miller
Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
Dennis Miller
Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
Dennis Miller
After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.
Dennis Miller
Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
Dennis Miller
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
Dennis Miller
The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
Dennis Miller
There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.
Dennis Miller
Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless.
Dennis Miller
My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
Dennis Miller
Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
Dennis Miller
Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
Dennis Miller
You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
Dennis Miller
Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
Dennis Miller
Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.
Dennis Miller
Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
Dennis Miller
Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.
Dennis Miller