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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
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Dennis Michael Miller
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More quotes by Dennis Miller

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That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?
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Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.
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The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
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A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'
Dennis Miller
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The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.
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The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done.
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I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
Dennis Miller
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
Dennis Miller
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Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.
Dennis Miller
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I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called The Right Hand Stuff. I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip.
Dennis Miller
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The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
Dennis Miller
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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
Dennis Miller
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Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
Dennis Miller
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A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
Dennis Miller
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So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim.
Dennis Miller
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The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.
Dennis Miller
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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
Dennis Miller
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
Dennis Miller
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Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.
Dennis Miller