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They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
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Proliferation
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Fiction
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Literacy
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Civilization

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TV evangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination, but I think we've all seen their eyes light up at tens and twenties.
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I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
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When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.
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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
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The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.
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Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
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Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
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I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
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If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
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Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.
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By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
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The man who accused Richard Simmons of slapping him in an airport has dropped the assault charge. Dropped it! Upon hearing the news, Simmons sadly responded, You mean I'm not going to prison?
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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
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Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
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I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.
Dennis Miller
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I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
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