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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Penalty
Penalties
Becoming
Comedy
Death
Country
Way
Life

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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
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After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
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Other than the bombs they strap to their chests, Ive got no idea what makes the Palestinians tick.
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I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.
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It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
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Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
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Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
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A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
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At some point you cannot be the kid in the glass bubble in this world. You might've heard throughout your grade school and high school years that it was a safe, nice, warm, fair, feeling place... but it can get brutal when it gets competitive. Especially when you succeed. Watch the detractors come out of the walls at that point.
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You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
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I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.
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When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.
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