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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Absolutely
Crazy
Word
Party
Mother
Verb
Kids
Verbs
Starts
Using

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The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.
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I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.
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Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.
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Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.
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It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
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Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
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Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.
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I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
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My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
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Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
Dennis Miller
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
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I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.
Dennis Miller
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller
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Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.
Dennis Miller
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Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
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