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When your mother starts using the word party as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Starts
Using
Absolutely
Crazy
Word
Party
Mother
Verb
Kids
Verbs

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
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Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
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And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.
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Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?
Dennis Miller
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
Dennis Miller
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Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
Dennis Miller
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Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
Dennis Miller
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My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
Dennis Miller
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Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
Dennis Miller
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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
Dennis Miller
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Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'
Dennis Miller
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Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.
Dennis Miller
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Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.
Dennis Miller
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Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
Dennis Miller
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller
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Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw this guy. ... [He's a] bad guy.
Dennis Miller
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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
Dennis Miller
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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
Dennis Miller
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I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
Dennis Miller