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Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 70
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Sell
Sells
Everybody
Point
Living
Make
More quotes by Dennis Miller
Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
Dennis Miller
Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
Dennis Miller
Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
Dennis Miller
Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
Dennis Miller
It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.
Dennis Miller
With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.
Dennis Miller
Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
Dennis Miller
Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
Dennis Miller
Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!
Dennis Miller
Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.
Dennis Miller
Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.
Dennis Miller
I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless.
Dennis Miller
After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.
Dennis Miller
America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
Dennis Miller
Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
And I know your next move, I watch you so much, 'There's been no proven link between the secular state of Iraq and al-Qaeda!' Come on. They both think we're Satan. Isn't that a nice starting point? Why are you so loathe to believe they might have each other on lunatic speed dial?
Dennis Miller
They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.
Dennis Miller
And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.
Dennis Miller
If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
Dennis Miller