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I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Thinking
Following
Fronts
Front
Persons
Person
Paranoia
Long
Paranoid
Way
Round
Think
Rounds

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I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
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The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.
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Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
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Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
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Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.
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The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
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Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.
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I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what he says. And there are times I think, Oh, my God. How could he say that.
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
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Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.
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It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
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Other than the bombs they strap to their chests, Ive got no idea what makes the Palestinians tick.
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Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?
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Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.
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