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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Dead
Animal
Many
Suicides
Highway
Highways
Suicide
Animals

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
Dennis Miller
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
Dennis Miller
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
Dennis Miller
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Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw this guy. ... [He's a] bad guy.
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
Dennis Miller
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Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.
Dennis Miller
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So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim.
Dennis Miller
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What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
Dennis Miller
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It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.
Dennis Miller
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Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!
Dennis Miller
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Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.
Dennis Miller
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
Dennis Miller
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My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
Dennis Miller
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Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.
Dennis Miller
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
Dennis Miller
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You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
Dennis Miller
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Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.
Dennis Miller
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Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.
Dennis Miller
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There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.
Dennis Miller
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I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
Dennis Miller