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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Als
Professional
Couldn
Politics
Impersonator
Impersonators
Phony
Gore

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How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
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If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.
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What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
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A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'
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I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
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Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
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I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
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If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
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The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.
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It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.
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I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.
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The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible.
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There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.
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Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
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Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
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I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
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