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Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Kind
Good
Nursing
World
Sign
Ones
Future
Inspirational
Home
Children

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.
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When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
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Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?
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I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
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I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
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Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.
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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
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The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.
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I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless.
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
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Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.
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I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
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I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
Dennis Miller