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Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Kicked
Ass
Covered
Obama
Hope
Better

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Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.
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A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'
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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.
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Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.
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Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.
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Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.
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Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
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Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
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Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
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I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.
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A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.
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If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.
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Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.
Dennis Miller
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For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.
Dennis Miller