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I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.
Dennis Miller
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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
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Speaking
Countries
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Still
Country
Communist
More quotes by Dennis Miller
I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.
Dennis Miller
Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!
Dennis Miller
I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days later, after they cut the guy's head off, they didn't seem like much. And now, I like to trade them with my friends.
Dennis Miller
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
Dennis Miller
I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless.
Dennis Miller
I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
Dennis Miller
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.
Dennis Miller
They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.
Dennis Miller
A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
Dennis Miller
If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children!
Dennis Miller
Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.
Dennis Miller
A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
Dennis Miller
Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.
Dennis Miller
To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
Dennis Miller
And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.
Dennis Miller
I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
Dennis Miller
The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.
Dennis Miller
Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?
Dennis Miller
If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.
Dennis Miller
Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
Dennis Miller
