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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Would
Toad
Time
Toads
Ice
Littles
Wanted
Little
Done
Long

More quotes by Dennis Miller

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Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
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I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.
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In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.
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The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
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What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?
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I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
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I'd rather be funny than wise.
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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.
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A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
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I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.
Dennis Miller
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How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?
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The Patriots deflated balls are but an allegory for America's deflated balls in dealings with Putin, the Mullahs in Iran, and Islamic terrorists.
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How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
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Companionate Conservatism - Making the streets safer before people are kicked out onto them.
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It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.
Dennis Miller
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There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.
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The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
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I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
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The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
Dennis Miller