Quote

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 70
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Delivering
Football
Face
Faces
Hands
Triplets
Triplet
Vishnu
Warner

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I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
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If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam We're #1 finger.
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How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.
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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
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To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.
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My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
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The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.
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Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
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Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.
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Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.
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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
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The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.
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Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
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Everybody is full of crap. The coin of the realm is being full of crap. The best people - being full of crap are our leaders and our superstars.
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Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
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Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
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