Quote

Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.

Dennis Miller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
Football
Goes
Ouch
Story
Infused
Stories
Quicker
Back
Date
Firsts
Sister
First
Drive
Love
Watching

More quotes by Dennis Miller

Image
I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.
Dennis Miller
Image
They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.
Dennis Miller
Image
We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.
Dennis Miller
Image
Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.
Dennis Miller
Image
I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.
Dennis Miller
Image
When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.
Dennis Miller
Image
President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.
Dennis Miller
Image
I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.
Dennis Miller
Image
I'd rather be funny than wise.
Dennis Miller
Image
Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
Dennis Miller
Image
The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
Dennis Miller
Image
Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
Dennis Miller
Image
If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.
Dennis Miller
Image
Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.
Dennis Miller
Image
The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done.
Dennis Miller
Image
The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.
Dennis Miller
Image
Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
Dennis Miller
Image
The Patriots deflated balls are but an allegory for America's deflated balls in dealings with Putin, the Mullahs in Iran, and Islamic terrorists.
Dennis Miller
Image
Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.
Dennis Miller
Image
When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
Dennis Miller