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Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.

Dennis Miller

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Dennis Miller
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: November 3
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Writer
Pittsburg
Pennsylvania
Dennis Michael Miller
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President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.
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Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?
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That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
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If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.
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We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being.
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Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.
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Al Gore couldn't be more phony if he were a professional Al Gore impersonator
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The man who accused Richard Simmons of slapping him in an airport has dropped the assault charge. Dropped it! Upon hearing the news, Simmons sadly responded, You mean I'm not going to prison?
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Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
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The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
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The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.
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It's wrong to discriminate based on skin color when there are so many other reasons not to like someone.
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I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.
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American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.
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That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.
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In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that 'if I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
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Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.
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Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
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Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.
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I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
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